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Cheap Therapy

Made some recent adjustments in my life.  Out of necessity.  I don't want to go into detail yet.  I am still too flabbergasted over the entire situation.  I will say that this situation has been life altering.  I have had to remove people from my inner circle and re-evaluate the people in my circle.  

I have cried daily, lost sleep and pretty much been a despondent seething bitch.  I have hate in me.  An emotion that I have saved for alarm clocks and terrorists.  Now I have it for the actions of someone I love.  How screwed up is THAT?  

I have changed my e-mail.  Deleted people from my Facebook.  Cancelled a much awaited vacation.  I am questioning my entire existence on this universe. I am picking over every relationship I hold near and dear.  All while scratching my head.

I said yesterday that it is like I was crossing the street in a cross-walk and got hit by a silent invisible car.  Not a damn thing I can do about it now except try to make the best of what parts of me can be scrapped off the pavement.

      I hate:
  • What you did to us.
  • What you did to our family.
  • I gave you this kind of power.
  • I trusted you.
  • being your excuse.
  • knowing that when you figure it out, it will be too late.
  • that it already is.

Cheap therapy.  All I can afford.
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Comments

  1. JasmineOctober 21, 2010 at 9:07 PM

    Wow Chellie, I'm so sorry you're going thru such a rough time. You're a strong woman with a big heart, a good head on your shoulders and people who care about you...and you will get thru this. I think your cheap therapy is a good thing...

    ReplyDelete

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