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Are we not entitled?

When everything around us is falling to hell, nothing is going right. You can't buy a break because you don't have a penny to your name. Aren't we entitled to have a moment of weakness? A moment to just let loose of our self composure and freakin cry. Hollar at the powers that be, curse the universe. How long can a person keep up the front before they just have to have a good fit of frustration? Is it healthy to keep it bottled? To keep trying to convince yourself that this too shall pass. Maybe deep down you know it will pass, but your just damn tired of waiting for it. Things happen for a reason blah blah. Yeah, you can only subliminally try to sink that one into your noggin for so long before you wanna shove it down someones throat.

Holding it together takes way too much energy. It is wearing me out. Trying to convince everyone that it is all gonna work out, when I secretly wonder if maybe it won't. Does that make me a pessimist? Well then so be it. Every optimist has to have their day of slipping to the dark side.

Tonight I am wallowing in the glory of a mental temper tantrum. I may wallow all day tomorrow too. And I will be damned if I am going to feel guilty about it. I feel I am entitled to a few moments of just letting down the walls and letting the raging rivers of emotions flow wildly out of control. It may not be pretty, but it sure as hell feels good.
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Comments

  1. QueenieJuly 24, 2008 at 9:23 PM

    When I get like that, I reach for the only thing that makes it all seem ok...A big assed bottle of wine. By the third glass in, I just don't give a fuck. It's cheap therapy.

    I would tell ya to hang in there sis but I am afraid of what you might do with the rope at the moment. Just know that I love you. A bunch.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Spacey StaceyJuly 29, 2008 at 1:19 AM

    i say we are most definitely entitled. keeping it all together is hard work!

    ReplyDelete

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