Skip to main content

L<3ve Me

I am living my life as though I could care less if I die tomorrow. Yet the thought of dying frightens me to tears. I guess it is selfishness that motivates me to not want to abandon my children while they are still young. To not want to leave my husband to be swept up by some other woman who will discover how lucky I was to have the love of such an amazing man. I do not know why I abuse myself. Habit? Vice? Emotional issues that I feed to avoid dealing with? Yet after a day of failure, I lie in bed and swear over and over that I will make a change...tomorrow. But what if tomorrow never comes? I am ashamed that I am my biggest embarrassment. I focus on loving everyone around me yet I don't nurture myself with the same energy and passion. What if I live the rest of my life ashamed that I didn't love myself enough to nurture ME?

It is my life and I have but one. The time has come for me to love myself...flaws and all. I'm not waiting for tomorrow, I am starting today.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Color Struck: A Psychoanalytical Perspective

Color Struck: A Psychoanalytical Perspective             In “ Color Struck ,” Zora Neale Hurston (2005) illustrates the tragedy of a couple in the 1900’s.  John, a light brown-skinned man, and Emma, a black woman, attend a cake walk to represent their community and bring home the grand prize.  Emma is so preoccupied with her misguided ideas of the prejudices of others that she inadvertently sabotages her relationship with John.  Her paranoia and insecurity run so deep, that they remain with her for 20 years and ultimately ruin her opportunity for true love a second time.  Exploring a work of literature from a p sychoanalytical perspective “aim to reveal the influence of the subconscious in the text’s plot, setting, conflict, symbols, point of view, language, and character development (South University Online, 2010, para. 1). From this perspective it is revealed that the prejudice that Emma accuses everyone e...
Read more

Confused..

(repost from May 2010) I have been wondering lately.  What happened to the days when people actually gave a shit about how their actions or words would effect others?  Does anyone think outside their own existence anymore? I have a temper.  Hell most of us do to some extent.  I have learned via trial and error how to keep it in check.  I have learned that sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.  Especially when I am pissed off.  Anger never translates to reason and understanding.   When I start to do something, I often ask myself how it will effect people.  Am I going to step on toes or hurt feelings.  Is it going to make me look like a total douche bag??  I have always been the type to "try" to filter my thoughts before I blurt or react. I know that I have stopped myself from things based on the answers to the above questions.  Sometimes stopping myself helps spare others while in turn hurting me. Typ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Long week...

It has been a long week.  One foot in front of the other...one moment at a time.  That is how I have learned to plow through this proverbial roller coaster of life. Disappointed to be going on vacation with out my Love. Excited to be getting to go on vacation. Sad to be away from hubs while traveling. Ecstatic to get solid quality face to face with sissy. Frustrated that my health has so much control over my life. Blessed to be alive to face these challenges. Annoyed at work related BS that effects my financial well being and having no control over it. Thankful to have a job. Its a balance....
Post a Comment
Read more